Its feels as though I am constantly in transition. There was a time when this was troublesome to me. Never having lived in the same house for more than a year since I was 16 years old seemed like a problem that I needed to fix.
Today I feel so grateful to be in transition... constantly. Because that is actually the nature of being alive. We are constantly transitioning between birth and death. Everything in between is a matter of change. And how wonderful it is - to never know what lies ahead... It's the mystery that keeps us going, keeps us striving, and creating our selves. If we knew who we were, we would not have the opportunity of discovery. It can be a magical thing to uncover more and more parts of ourselves. To become more intimate with the gifts we have been given and the ones we have to offer others.
Lately I have been contemplating what it means to have a dream come true. There was a time when I expected to someday be BIG but I did not really imagine what it would feel like. Now I have begun to dream in a more concrete way - to actually involve all my senses in the dream: sound, smell, touch, taste, and most of all - body sense. What will I feel like on the inside when this dream comes true? How much space do I need to have in my heart and mind for this dream to be a reality? What people will be in my life and what will our relationships feel like?
When I feel into the answers to those questions - I start to have a real sense of the small steps I want to take to move toward making my dream come true. It is becoming so real to me: knowing that if you are reading this, we have a relationship, whether i know you or not. But it is real because I have created space for you in my heart. I have recognized that my dreams must be built on real relationships, community, respect, and honesty.
Making sounds, creating tones, singing... whatever you call it, when we bring our voices into the realm of our ears, we are showing up and we have the opportunity to find out who we are in another dimension. The voice is produced from the most intimate part of our being - the breath. And the core muscles of the abdomen, diaphragm, and pelvic floor. If you slow down you can feel your whole body engaging around a sound. I am so interested in the ways that we recruit our bodies in this process. I am so interested in the ways that our minds must get out of the way in order to do this. It is an intuitive creative endeavor. And, as with all creative outlets, when our minds get in the way, we get stopped up. If we begin to judge what is being produced, we limit ourselves We stifle the energy that is moving through us. We turn away from the curious and open perception that we must hold in order to allow the creative experience to be known. The voice is a wonderful place to practice allowing. And right here, the first thing that comes to mind is that what we are asked to do, even before we make a sound, is to listen. Before the sound is even made, it calls to us from inside. And if we listen, it will eventually come forth into being. The more open we remain as the sound comes forth, the more powerfully it moves through us. And we are moved from the inside. It becomes a cycle. And as the vibration of voice grows, so does the space inside. There is more room for more sound, more movement, more of self.
My life is my art and my music. My body is my vehicle. The deeper the sensing, the deeper the meaning.